And I have seen the tiger smile, I spit in the bamboo viper's face

The state of New Hampshire Department of Motor Vehicles have seen fit to grant me a driving license. They made me work for it - I had to do a theory and a practical test. The theory test without the aid of revision. We went to get our driving licenses over a week ago and were expecting to get whatever the equivalent of a provisional license is.

We took our sheaf of required paper work, all in order. The lady behind the counter (who was nothing like either Patty or Selma) said "Right go to booth four and take your theory test" Er, what now? Apparently yes. So more by luck than judgement I reached the required pass point. We returned this morning to do the practical part. I now know why there are so many shit drivers on America's roads. I didn't even have to do the parallel parking or three point turn elements like I was lead to believe that I would. For the record, Giselle passed hers too.

So I too can now go and make the slip roads of America chaos too.

When the Brooklyn boys begin to take the joint apart and tear it down

Well I can report that the Midfield Cafe does indeed serve a fantastic breakfast, perhaps the best one I have had since being America. They may take a little time to get it to you but they can be forgiven that, especially as they were so busy today. But according the pilot (who was flying the P-51) who was sitting next to us at the counter, every airfield diner in America has tardy service.

The planes are impressive and the people there more so. We spoke to a guy (and bought a book from him) who was a Flight Sergeant on B-17s in Europe until he was shot down over France. I asked him where he was stationed. "Have you ever heard of Kettering" he said.....

The amazing thing is that they just let you walk through the planes, somehow I can't see them doing that in the UK. Having walked through them I can only conclude that they grew 'em smaller in the '40s. The bomb bay walkways certainly weren't designed for fat boys.

That is the view looking back to the tailgunners turret in the B-24. They are tiny inside, it really does make you admire the people who got in them night after night.

For all you mechanical freaks (you know who you are) -

the innards of a Pratt & Whitney R-1830 Twin Wasp 1000hp 14 cylinder radial engine.

And finally some lucky bugger who is the best part of three and half grand lighter on his way back from a ride.

although I am sure that there is probably an argument with the claim on the poster that the P-51 was the greatest fighter plane ever.....

Thats the way we fly, five miles off the ground

I'll agree that the above pictures don't look very exciting (especially the last one) but they are. 

They are a B-17 Flying Fortress, a B-24 Liberator and a P-51 Mustang flying over our building on their way to land at Boire Field (which is just behind the trees). They are on display there all weekend - thats tomorrow morning sorted out. They apparently they do a good breakfast at the airport, I'll let you know if this is true.Oh and for a mere $3200 you could have an hour long flight in P-51 (for those who aren't aware this is like offering flights in a Spitfire - something that people would pay a lot of money for). 

You don't have to live next to me, just give me my equality

We went to this tonight. Its hard to fathom that this is a country where there were places where it wasn't that different to Apartheid South Africa in living memory. In some ways it was frightening to listen to someone who had to do what he (and hundreds of other like him) did, just to get people the right to vote. The right to go and put a cross on a bit of paper, something that we all have taken for granted since we were 18. I can't really get my head around the whole thing. Despite all of this, the talk was uplifting and how can you not be moved in a positive way by listening to someone who was at the coal face of history?

Oh, whilst buying a book from him after he said to me "I like your t-shirt, very nice". Can you guess which t-shirt I was wearing tonight? Yes, it was that t-shirt again.

In the spring of '48, Mao Tse-tung got quite irate

American Television, where do you start? Its another one those dichotomies. One one hand some American TV is the best TV you will ever see (for example Mad Men, The Sopranos, yes even the Wire). They do cop shows better than anyone else (NCIS, CSI, Bones the list goes on). The animated series' (The Simpsons, Family Guy, American Dad, South Park) are some of the funniest, most cutting satire around. And yet some of it some of the direst drivel you will ever see - daytime TV is full of chat shows, soap operas, judge shows, tabloid talk shows.

We only have the most basic cable package (you can't get TV through a normal ariel anymore as far as I can tell) which gives us NBC, ABC (x 2 New Hampshire's and Boston's), CBS, Fox, three PBS channels (I'll come back to them), a god bothering channel, a shopping channel and a Spanish language channel (which is the only one that I can watch s***** on, I never thought I would care about the Mexican 1st division but there you go). So we don't have the hundreds of channels because quite frankly there are too many channels with too much choice for too much money.

There is a better way - we don't have AMC the channel that shows Mad Men. However there is a way round this, buy it from iTunes. Okay it cost 35 bucks but we get it the morning after its shown. $35 is a lot cheaper than having to subscribe to AMC (and I'm sure that there is nothing else on the channel that would be of interest anyway).

Tonight was the start of the new season of shows on all the channels. It goes on all week, on all the channels. Tonight we had the Event on NBC, followed by the remake of Hawaii Five-0 on CBS. The Event? Not sure about it but will try it again next week. And Hawaii Five-0? Refer to the comment above on cop shows. No Jack Lord though (but he is dead so....). Of course the other thing about all the channels is the adverts - oh the adverts, the interminable adverts. They are worth a post on their own. So I will talk about them another time.

But if you tire of all this, what to do? Then turn to PBS. The Public Broadcasting Service, the nearest you will get to the BBC in America (unless of course you have a subscription to BBC America but we don't). There are no adverts, sort of. Not in the programmes but before and after the programmes you are told who has "supported" the programmes (they look like adverts to me but there you go). We are lucky enough to have WGBH as our local PBS channel, the premier PBS channel and they make stuff as good as the BBC. They also have a lot of stuff from the BBC (even if some of it is Keeping Up Appearances, ahem). It has proper news on it too which talks about things outside the state, let alone the country.

But better than all of this is the radio equivalent of PBS, NPR. That sounds so like the BBC because a lot of the time it is. Every night when I go to bed, I get to listen to the World Service. being broadcast on our local NPR station. If they had Sailing By and the shipping forecast, it would be like being at home....

Let me take you to the movies, can I take you to the show

We have just been to the pictures. To see The Town as you ask, very good film - go and see it. Very odd though, watching a film which mentions the town you live in and has a railway station where you have caught a train from and many other places that you recognize and none of them are in Britain. But this wasn't the remarkable thing about the evening. It was where we went to watch it.


We went here- our local drive in theatre. I now really feel as though I live in America. And it was everything that you would expect it to be. You no longer have speakers on poles to listen to the sound, instead it is broadcast over FM and received on the radio in the car. Other than that it could have been straight out of a film itself. Sadly next weekend is the last of the season. But I think we shall go again next year when it starts again. Its a bit of a bargain at 20 bucks a car. For that you get a double bill (the other film tonight being Machete, didn't really fancy it so we left at the intermission) and a real slice of Americana.

Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?

Rather stupidly we just went to a BMW dealer and now I want my bike......

Spree I spraddle on the back seat

We are now a step closer to living the American dream and now own a car. And what a palaver it was.  Finding the car was easy - just go around a whole load of car dealers until you find one that you want. We ended up with a red four door 2006 Toyota RAV4 with just over 38,000 miles on the clock (for all you trivia fans) for a very reasonable price. Getting it was a bit more problematic.

Since we have been here we have had a variety of hire cars (they only let you have them for a month at a time so the first one had to go back, the second one overheated on the freeway so we ended up with a third on which the oil light warning kept going on and off). They all came from the Alamo car hire office at Boston's Logan airport so had to be taken back there. So on Friday morning last week we drove down to Boston and took it back. The plan was to get the bus back to Nashua and have the car dealer come and pick us up.

We were tootling down the freeway in to Boston when I had a terrible thought - I didn't have my passport with me. Now this may not sound like a bad thing but if you don't have a US driving license the its the only form of ID that this is acceptable. But why would you need ID anyway? I hear you ask. Well, if you want to buy a ticket on a bus or a train then you have prove who you are. Don't ask me why this is case but it is and its immutable (as someone many of us know found on a family holiday to California a couple of years ago...).

Now I didn't fancy a wait in Boston whilst Giselle (who sensibly had hers) went back, picked the car up, sorted out the insurance and drove back to get me. So when the bus arrived (for which we were the only passengers from the airport) we had a word with the driver, who understood my plight and said that he would vouch for me with the ticket agent at the South Station (where the bus also goes and where they sell the tickets from - a strange way of doing things but par for the course for America). Which is what he did.

So an hour later we were picked up from the bus terminal just off Route 3 by the dealer, handed an not inconsiderable cheque over and the car was ours - sort of. Firstly there was the matter of insurance. To get our insurance we had to go to the brokers office. But didn't you have to drive there without any insurance? Yes but do you know what? Insurance isn't a mandatory requirement in the state of New Hampshire. Yes thats right, you can drive around without any insurance at all and its not a problem (obviously it is when you have a n accident but I suppose thats the chance that you take.). You would have thought that in such a litigious country it would be the complete opposite but no, you are perfectly at will to have no insurance whatsoever when you drive. Don't know what the rules are in other states but I suppose its all part of the Live Free or Die ethos. All sorted then, no not quite.

In the UK when we buy a car (or a bike or well anything thats needs one) it comes with its registration plate attached to it. Not here though (apparently for insurance purposes all vehicles are identified by their VIN numbers). When we got it from the dealer it had a temporary (cardboard) license plate attached to the rear which was valid for 20 days. This morning we had to go to City Hall to get our real license plates. Which could have been interesting as we apparently are supposed to have a New Hampshire driving license to do this but remarkably a UK license works just as well (although we now apparently have to go to Concord, the State capital and get New Hampshire licenses).

The interesting thing about this is that the whole process (temporary and permanent plates) costs in the region of $500. And the permanent plates have to renewed every year for another approximately $150. So there may be no road tax here in the way that we understand but this doesn't mean that motorists aren't exempt from paying their dues.

Rather boringly we went for the standard number plate with the next number and not a vanity plate as we couldn't thing of anything suitable to put on it. Answers on a post card please........

There'll be one mad dog and his master, pushing for four with the spin

The new football season has just started. Obviously by football I mean the glorified Rugby that America calls football and not real football (hereafter to be refereed to as s***** - believe me its easier). I amazed by the complete frenzy that this country gets into about its sport.

Take football. The AFL (the equivalent of the Premiership) is only the start of it. I find it hard to believe that of a Friday night, one of our local TV stations shows High School football live. This is like Midlands Today showing Dunsmore 1st XV play Sheriff 1st XV on a Saturday morning - complete madness and probably not the greatest entertainment. Yesterday the New England Patriots quarterback was involved in a relatively minor car accident. It happened during the TV breakfast programmes and the amount of coverage of it was unbelievable. If your thought the English were obsessed with s****** it is nothing compared to America and football.

And that is nothing when measured against what is known as "the American pastime" - baseball. I have quite warmed to baseball. I know its just glorified rounders but there is something quite compelling about it. Its really not that far from cricket, it certainly shares the need to know what the statistics are all about - its all about the stats. Something that I find quite amusing is everyone seems to agree that it can quite rowdy at the ball park, especially in the bleachers. I was told by someone - "you wouldn't want to be in the bleachers at Fenway Park when the Red Sox are playing the Yankees. Its the fighting Irish in the Bostonian - give them a drink and they like to rip it up"! Superb.

I think though that both are sports that you have to grow up with to have a full understanding and appreciation of. I have watched both and whilst I can watch them I don't have the investment in either to get passionate about them. Which is why I shall carry on listening to the cricket on 5 Live Extra on the web and go to the pub in Manchester when the six nations starts. Thank god the Rugby will be at a sensible time, I still haven't quite worked out when the Ashes will be and how much sleep I will lose (literally and metaphorically) .

Don't stand in the doorway, don't block up the hall

Having watched the candidates debates of the prospective candidates for Congress on our local ABC channel tonight I now know two things.

The first is that gawd help British politicians if Cameron ever gets his way of having the idea of Primaries in the UK. Having watched both the Democrat and Republican debates one thing was very clear  - all the people who were on the stage shared one thing in common, they were very polished politicians who could answer questions off the cuff in a way. And whether one agreed with their responses or not, none of it was cringe making in the way I fear it would have been if one were watching two or three Tory or Labour candidates from the Chipping Barnet constituency doing the same thing. I'm not suggesting that this is necessarily a good thing, after all one wants (and perhaps needs) politicians with a bit of character. But I don't think your average person who wants to be a parliamentary candidate in the UK would be quite as telegenic.

The second is that I am glad I don't have make a choice as I am not sure I would want to chose any of them.

Its like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife

We went out for a quick drink before dinner. Sitting outside the bar, we were talking to a couple of guys from Connecticut.

"So why are you living in America, did you lose a bet?"

Don't ever let anyone tell you that Americans have no sense of irony.

I'd quit my drinking and work on a building too

I went for a walk downtown to do some stuff this morning (including joining the library - I felt like Lisa Simpson, although unlike Springfield's library Nashua's seemed to be in rude health and full of patrons). As I was coming back I saw something that made me smile.

There was someone replacing the putty, or as I found out last week when I had a conversation about ours (don't ask) its known as caulking here, in one of the windows of another apartment in the building. Being me, I was wondering how this feat would be achieved, given that we are five floors up. Well it appears that it is done by the use of a bit of rope and a length of wood. No need for a full scaffolding of the building here (as you would have to do in the UK), just dangle the guy over in a seat attached to a girder on the roof - superb. Though I really must remember to take my camera out with me.

The Prince of Peace embraced the gloom and walked the night alone

This makes us giggle every time we see it - I am not sure what Americans make of the last three seconds of it.

Come senators, Congressmen please heed the call

A week on Tuesday is Primary Day in New Hampshire, a uniquely American piece of democracy. I'm not entirely convinced by it. I can see in theory why its a good idea - each party has a number of candidates who they put forward and then the people go out and decide who the candidate for the general election later in the year is going to be. It is a good way to avoid having the party candidate just foist upon you like we do in the UK. And I like the idea of being able to vote and decide on the other sides candidate (as I understand it everyone gets to vote for all parties and no parties candidates but I understand that this differs from state to state, like most other things). I think that though that there are definite drawbacks.

I read the other day for a successful candidate to get through the primaries and onto the ballot paper for the election in November cost between two and ten MILLION dollars. My understanding is that there are two Congressional districts in New Hampshire - which means that the successful candidates in NH will have spent upwards of $40,000,000 to get on the ballot paper. I am not au fait with how many seats are up for grabs in November (I don't think its all of them) but if you multiply that over the country thats hundreds of millions of dollars spent on just trying to get the chance to be elected.

Most of this money seems to be spent on adverts slagging off your opponent. Now the interesting thing here is that your opponent at this stage is member of the same party as you. I find this very strange - surely these people are on the same side? I understand that even in the same political party there are varying shades of opinion but still, some of the adverts are just plain nasty. I can't wait to see the ones for the election in November when they will be having a go at the other side.

The other thing is that its not just just get on the ballot paper for Congress but everything - school board governor, sheriff, alderman, Governor , the lot. Not in all places at the same time but I think that its lots of things that get voted for at the same time. Can democracy go to far? One of the TV stations have candidates debates every night this week. I shall watch them, not that I can do anything with the information as we are not allowed a vote. We are only non-immigrants residents so don't get a vote (but have to pay tax) - now what was it that one of the early thinkers behind the Revolution said? Oh yeah, "Taxation without representation is tyranny".

Far across the moonbeam, I know thats who you are are

Well that was an anti-climax. Earl sort of died before it got here. To quote a policeman on the news this morning - "We've had more damage from storms that they haven't warned us about". I suppose better safe than sorry though.

But the banks are made of marble, with a guard on every door

Monday is Labor Day, a bank holiday that apparently traditionally marks the end of the summer. Something concerned me about this holiday - its name. Its a bit, well, socialist. And surely America couldn't be celebrating something socialist could it? Turns out they could. Labor Day has been around since the end of the 19th century and was instigated as celebration of the achievements of workers.

Its the one dichotomy that I find time and time again here. On the face of it America (or probably more accurately some Americans) cannot countenance the very idea of socialism. Its an anathema to everything they hold dear. You just have to listen to people talking on news shows about the idea of healthcare reform. News channels, such as the one owned by everybody's favourite Australian are full of people who just seem to be, well the only word I can think of is foaming. (Not necessarily on topic but my personal favourite in this category is the mild mannered pastor who, with some of his mates, next weekend plans to burn the Koran in a protest against Islam.  He truly was the voice of reason)

There is an anti Obama bumper sticker I have seen that says "United Socialist States of America, 2010 - 2014" somehow equating the mild reform that Obama is doing to the USSR. Personally I don't think that socialist is a label that I would ever have put on Obama, liberal democrat perhaps but socialist? The very idea of state intervention to some people here is just selling their birth right. (Again, slight away from the topic but still on it, I was wearing this t-shirt when I was accosted by free thinking local who pointed to the hammer and sickle and asked if I knew that that was a symbolism of being a communist. I of course thanked him for putting me right on this information that I was previously unaware of.... Can't wait to see what happens when I wear this.)

And yet, and yet.......

I am constantly reminding myself that this is the land that gave the world Woody Guthrie and Pete Seeger. Its the land with radio stations that are full of moderate voices who say "hold on a minute....". Its the country where they celebrate the worker and actually name a day after them - something that we aren't allowed to do in the UK, ours just becomes May bank holiday. For gods sake, our electricity is supplied by the Public Service Company of New Hampshire, I don't think you could get much more socialist than that.  So I shall stop worrying about the nutters and celebrate the progressives. Remember, you have nothing to lose but your chains.

Dancing on the light from star to star

Hurricane update - First, its not a hurricane anymore, now its just a tropical storm. Its going to be a "run of the mill" rain storm in Nashua apparently. Just an inch of rain and no more than 30 mph winds. Its all set to kick off in Nantucket though - 90 mile an hour winds, seven inches of rain. Proper batten down the hatches weather. It all kicks off at 8 tomorrow night, I think that the news channels can't wait.

Once I thought I saw you in a crowded hazy bar

At the best of times, America seems obsessed with the weather. And I suppose this is understandable when you have such big weather. At the moment, certainly on the East Coast this is reaching a fever pitch with the imminent arrival of Hurricane Earl, especially around what is known as the Cape area (the islands off Boston - Martha's Vineyard, Nantucket). It would seem that if Earl is to make land fall, it will be around this area.

If it does then all of the weather reports (and there are a lot of them - last nights 30 minute long 11 o'clock news had 20 minutes about Earl) reckons that Nashua will avoid the winds but don't think we will avoid the rain. It is due to be here on Friday evening/night. I shall keep the world updated.....

Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty

Well thats an interesting place I shan't be going back to in a hurry. We have just spent two nights in Atlantic City, NJ as we were the visiting le famille Cairney-Wells who were holidaying in Brigantine. This is a lovely little seaside town about 5 miles from AC (as it seems to be known by everyone in America). And a wonderful couple of days we had with them too - I don't think I have ever had so much fun on a beach. The waves come in at some lick and it is tremendous fun playing "lets see if we can stand up in the oncoming waves" - the answer generally being no, as the wounds on my arms will testify. I have promised a strict no pictures policy of the events (especially of Gary) on the beach as he has photos of me and I don't think the world is ready for either sight. But AC, well where to start.....

I have never been to Vegas but it seems that AC is Vegas's tackier, seedier cousin. It is dominated by big casino/hotel complexes and I mean big. When we were looking for a hotel, we looked at one of the casinos that had 117 floors of rooms, which as far as I can see is 100 floors too many. And they are everywhere, the whole city seems to be one skyscraper after another and everyone a casino. Not being a gambling man, not a lot there for me. One of the "benefits" of the gambling industry is that bars are allowed, no made, to be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I am all for being able to get a drink but do I really need to get one at 430 on a Tuesday morning? The answer would appear to be yes.

But all is not lost in Sodom & Gomorrah  - AC was once a thriving seaside town where the whole of New Jersey and Pennsylvania went for their summer holidays (done for by the advent of mass car ownership after WW2). There are still bits of old AC left including the hotel we stayed in. If you ever find yourself in AC do stay there, its amazing. Lovely old building, amazing bathroom and a superb (proper European style) continental breakfast, definitely recommended. Not that I have ever seen one (or been to one) but the building had the feeling of a Wild West bordello....  The other thing worth seeing is the Boardwalk, apparenty the same one as sung about by the Drifters in "Under the Boardwalk". Sadly it is now mostly lined by new casinos and shopping malls but there are still one or two old buildings left on it. Including one with an amusement arcade where five bucks was well spent on Guitar Hero - the arcade game - what a genius idea for an arcade game. On the hi-score board for Motorhead by Motorhead in 3rd place and I never even had it on any of the versions I had for the PS2 (not that I am proud of this fact, ahem). 

As far as I can see, AC whole raison d'etre seems to be the inspiration for two pretty good songs and thats it. Happy to have seen it but don't think we will be rushing back.