The dust of the world is my load

We are now home - nightmare overnight flight but not as bad as it could have been.

Things I have learned about America -

• I know now the way to San Jose
• The rest of America doesn't like California
• The rest of California doesn't like LA
• Arizona is beautiful and I want to go back
• Vegas isn't seedy and anything like Casino and a bit scary in a la-la land sort of way
• America is a very, very big place
• I want a Dodge Charger

Bright light city gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire

We were having such a nice day until 3 o'clock........

We drove through more desert this morning and ended up at the Hoover Dam. I shan't bother showing you a picture of it as they don't really do it justice. However make do with a picture of one of the pair of lovely Art Deco statues

and the "we haven't got room to put this pylon in straight up so lets do it at an angle" pylon - this one is especially for you lovers of a good bit of civil engineering - I know you are reading this (no really, they are)

It was then on to probably the least visited of all of Vegas' attractions - the Clark County Museum in Henderson (on the outskirts of Vegas). Its perhaps two of the best bucks that you will ever spend in Vegas. 

Then on to Vegas. What can I say about Vegas? Two words spring to mind - Sodom and Gomorrah. Its, urm, well, mental. It makes Atlantic City look like Nashua. We are staying in the Mirage on the Strip which has its own Volcano which goes off on the hour every hour and they beat the Bellagio's fountains into a cocked hat. I think my main problem with the city (or the Strip I suppose to be more accurate) is the noise. Everywhere you walk there is music, interminable music which wouldn't be too bad if it was the same music everywhere but no, you start with U2 then 50 yards later its Phil Collins then its Duran Duran. Just stop the noise. And the neon, the neon. I am a great lover of twinkly things but there is just too much of it and its all too random. My eyes hurt.

Gambling is fun, if a very easy way to lose your money. We only actually spent $45 and then got bored of that. (UPDATE I won most of that back after playing $2 I found in my pocket on a fruit machine when I went out for a fag before breakfast - leaving Vegas even). I actually made more money from watching a blokes machine while he went and got more cash from the cash machine. He gave me $5 for doing it, I did try and tell him that he was well, giving his money away for nothing but how do you tell someone that who is pumping dollars into a computer with random pixels coming up when you press the buttons. Maybe there is a career to be had from keeping peoples seats in casinos?

I am only disappointed that I haven't managed to win enough money to buy Tony Soprano's vest and pants from the memorabilia shop in the hotel.

The sunsets were purple and red and yellow and on fire

We stayed in Kingman last night and tonight. And Kingman is only 70 miles from that skywalk thingy over the Grand Canyon. So of course we decided not go there. No we decided on the much more exciting destination of Lake Havasu City. First we went to that place everyone should go when in Kingman - the Route 66 museum. Its actually a really good little museum with an excellent shop. If you ever find yourself with time on your hands in Kingman, you could do worse than spend 20 minutes in there. Then it was off over another bit of Route 66.

As stunning as it is, you can see why they built the Interstate system. This bit went from Kingman west to Oatman and then to Golden Shores. Its another fantastic drive over a mountain pass but it wouldn't be the best way to get trucks and people over the hills, much easier to go around it like the modern I40 does.

Oatman is funny. Apparently its where Clark Gable and Carol Lombard spent their honeymoon, a bit of an odd place to do that if you were him if you ask me but there you go. Its a proper old mining town which even though now earns its crust as a tourist attraction its not as twee as Calico, even if they do have a gun fight four times a day (and wild burros). 

So why you ask, did you forsake the, well grandeur, of the Grand Canyon for Lake Havasu City? Because Lake Havasu City is the final resting place of London Bridge (the old one obviously).

I'm not convinced that its all there as it looks a bit short to me. The area around the bridge is like a London theme park (now there is a weird concept). Lake Havasu City is a bit of weird place in general - it was actually founded after Giselle was born. It makes Kingman (founded 1880ish) look like Phoenicia.

Oh and that girl was right - the sunsets are beautiful in Arizona.

Kingman, Barstow, San Bernardino

For those of you who have no idea what the post title is all about watch/listen to this (done by the man who wrote it - if you have never heard him do it, its not what you'll be expecting).



We have done it backwards ("If you ever plan to motor east....") starting in San Bernardino where we stayed last night.

Then on to Barstow, where we visited the Calico Ghost Town - a bit too restored for me, I was expecting tumble weed and broken down shacks but its all a bit shiny and been turned into and a shopportunity.

I have felt a bit like Robert Mitchum all day, driving over the High Desert. It is mile after mile of mountain and desert (I think that we have driven 300 miles since we were last without mountain). Those frontier pioneers must have been hoping that the sea was just over the next mountain. I wonder how many went mad out there waiting for the sea? I can see why they replaced Route 66 with an Interstate, it must have been tedious driving along this....

There was a big high wall there that tried to stop me

I think Woody Guthrie actually came to modern LA. I have never seem so may signs that say "No" to so many things. As you drive into Griffith Park (where the above was taken) there is a huge board that has a list of Nos on it. There must be a dozen of them. I was always under the impression that California was liberal. Good PR obviously.

Oh and LA gets 35 days a year rainfall. Guess what it was doing today? I think its safe to say that its not the place that either of us have ever been to that we would say is our favourite.

She's been hummin', thumbin', hitchin' and wishin' for a better day

I have a new favourite road, Sorry Silvretta Hochalpenstrasse but you have been out done. The Pacific Coast Highway is truly the road that keeps giving. At the start of the good bit there is a road sign that says "Bends for the next 89 miles". If only I had my bike.... But I am getting ahead of myself.

We left SF yesterday morning and headed for the Pacific Coast Highway. This road runs from SF to LA along, yes the Pacific coast for 400 miles. The first place we stopped was, at first sight, the delightful seaside town of Capitola. Very pretty.

But it turns out that it should really be Fascitola. It is illegal not only to smoke in bars and restaurants (fair enough) but on beaches and parks (okay its the California state law) but in the street. You can get fined for smoking in the bloody street. We had a very nice lunch, made our excuses and left. Last night we stayed in Carmel by the Sea. This is the town that Clint Eastwood used to be mayor of. Its very nice but very twee. It does have one outstanding feature though - the only bar in California in which you can still smoke. We intended to pop in and have one quick drink and then have something to eat. Well that didn't happen. Ended up chatting to the locals and some guy who was there from Rochester, NY on business. Fortunately there was a restaurant round the corner that delivered food to the bar so we ended up eating after all. We politely turned down the offer of a night out at Clint Eastwoods piano bar where the locals were off to (I really am getting too old for this drinking and getting up and doing stuff lark - and have you seen Giselle after a drink or two?).

This morning it was off down the PCH. O.M.G. There cannot be a better road than this in the world. It is just mile after mile of bends, sea views and mountains.

Whilst we were driving along and I was nearly wetting myself with the joy of this road, this came on the radio

Almost too perfect. We both pissed ourselves with laughter at the serendipity. Tonight we are in Lompoc (pronounced Lompoke apparently). And tomorrow we still have the second half of the PCH to drive.

Jump up from my star bed and make another day under my California stars

Well, California is very nice isn't it. I have driven about a thousand miles in the last four days and have seen a fair bit of it. Well, sometimes. Why did nobody tell me about the valley fog? I went to the Central Valley on Tuesday and spent most of it driving around in fog that you couldn't see more than 10 feet away in. Which is a shame because here in SF it has been sunny and 70 degrees.

Sacramento is interesting, they have actually kept the old town (only I don't think the cars are authentic frontier town cars).

And I have driven through a couple of towns that consist of single storey wooden shacks, population 902. Which you get to by driving along a levee road with no fences between you and the irrigation canal and a 20 foot drop to the water - it sort of sharpens the mind whilst driving.

And I have changed my mind - I love my Dodge Charger. Especially after some local yoof told me "cool car mister" (or whatever the local vernacular for that was) when I was parking it today. Oh how easy it is to massage the middle aged ego.....

Took my chances on a big jet plane, don't ever let them tell you that they are all the same*

What a difference 2700 miles makes. I have just been wandering around in my t-shirt. A very nice and temperate 18 degrees. New England, I laugh at your winter! We have only been here for a few hours and you are all right, San Francisco is loverly. But it ain't half steep, wouldn't fancy it on a bicycle. I did feel the urge to come over all Bullitt whilst driving around though.

Its like a different country here (and not just the weather). The buildings, the trees. You can really see why that ridiculous percentage of Americans don't have passports - why bother when the country that you live in so varied and vast (not that this excuses them from not leaving, just explains it).

I now have four days driving around California in our hired Dodge Charger doing what I like to do best. Not nearly as exciting as it sounds though (the car, not the driving around, although.......), I am a bit disappointed truth be told - not the muscle car it started of life as in the sixties, just a nice shaped large saloon car now, albeit with a three and half litred engine Giselle is at an exhibition until Thursday after which we are on holiday for a week, which we spend getting from here to Vegas. I believe what they call in these parts, a road trip.

* -this song is the genesis of the whole post titles as lyrics thing, since I have know for months and months that we were, er, coming to California and have been waiting nearly a year to use it. Oh the little things....

Concrete jungle where dreams are made of

Britain, never worry about not being able to deal with snow again. We have just returned from New York and its not coping very well. It did get nearly two feet in about 12 hours to be fair but its not coped. We stayed on Staten Island (very nice - about $100 a night cheaper than Manhattan and you get to go past the Statue of Liberty twice a day too). The street the hotel was on wasn't ploughed properly until yesterday morning - four days after it snowed. But it was alright - Manhattan had been ploughed, sort of. BUt there was still a lot of snow.

I still heart NY and could still quite happily live in Manhattan. We had the best meal we have yet had in America at the Guggenheim - proper sized portions and delicious food. Shops, fantastic shops. Buildings like nowhere else. Yes indeed, I heart NY.

This post would be far too long if I included all the photos so I have put all the good ones in two posts after this.

New York just like I imagined it, skyscrapers and everything

In the meadow we can build a snowman

The snowmen of NYC

Looked like there was 10,000 people standin' round the buryin' ground

Well tonight's location is a little less like being in an episode of the Sopranos. We are now in Rochester, NY (apparently actually Henrietta - a bit like saying you are in London but actually in New Southgate). And a lovely drive we had to get here too.


View Larger Map

Came up through a bit of the Appalachians (but not the really wild and woolly bit of it though). Very impressive. Yet more fall colours - will it never end? Had a bit of a diversion round one of the Finger Lakes which was all very perhriddy.

We have just been out for that quintessentially of English dinners, a curry. If you ever find yourself in Rochester (well, Henrietta) I can thoroughly recommend the Haveli - best parathas outside India (its something that Indian restaurants in the UK don't seem to be able to do).

There is one thing that we are going to have sort out with all this driving - music. The radio can be good, I mean how can you go wrong with a classic rock station (ok, many ways. If I hear Ho-bloody-tel-arseing-Cali-sodding-fornia one more time, I won't be responsible for my actions). But the problem with the radio is that its all local so you get something for 40 or 50 miles then you have to find a new station. We could either a) get a Sirius HD radio for the car. Upside, good stations (a station that just plays 24 hour a day Broooce- whats not to like? And who wouldn't want Neil Diamond radio? No seriously there are good stations) and its  nationwide. Downside - you have to subscribe. Or b) just sort the ipod out for the car.

But you're one in a million, you've got that shotgun shine

We are currently in North Caldwell, NJ. Giselle has come here for a meeting and I have just tagged along for a ride. It feels like an extension of our viewing for the last week (Series Four, episode four as you ask).

I have just eaten gabagool as a starter in a restaurant that wasn't a million miles from Vesuvio, served by a waitress who was a cross between Carmela and Adrianna. The following is I swear a real conversation that we overheard from an adjacent table.

"You know he was Joe Pesci's bodyguard?"

"No but did you known he was in the Soprano's?"

I was going to go to the Fountains of Wayne (the garden ornaments store where the cop works who loses his overtime for those of you not as trainspottery as me) tomorrow morning whilst G is at work but apparently it closed last  year - why do these things always close or get knocked down before I get to them?

Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty

Well thats an interesting place I shan't be going back to in a hurry. We have just spent two nights in Atlantic City, NJ as we were the visiting le famille Cairney-Wells who were holidaying in Brigantine. This is a lovely little seaside town about 5 miles from AC (as it seems to be known by everyone in America). And a wonderful couple of days we had with them too - I don't think I have ever had so much fun on a beach. The waves come in at some lick and it is tremendous fun playing "lets see if we can stand up in the oncoming waves" - the answer generally being no, as the wounds on my arms will testify. I have promised a strict no pictures policy of the events (especially of Gary) on the beach as he has photos of me and I don't think the world is ready for either sight. But AC, well where to start.....

I have never been to Vegas but it seems that AC is Vegas's tackier, seedier cousin. It is dominated by big casino/hotel complexes and I mean big. When we were looking for a hotel, we looked at one of the casinos that had 117 floors of rooms, which as far as I can see is 100 floors too many. And they are everywhere, the whole city seems to be one skyscraper after another and everyone a casino. Not being a gambling man, not a lot there for me. One of the "benefits" of the gambling industry is that bars are allowed, no made, to be open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  I am all for being able to get a drink but do I really need to get one at 430 on a Tuesday morning? The answer would appear to be yes.

But all is not lost in Sodom & Gomorrah  - AC was once a thriving seaside town where the whole of New Jersey and Pennsylvania went for their summer holidays (done for by the advent of mass car ownership after WW2). There are still bits of old AC left including the hotel we stayed in. If you ever find yourself in AC do stay there, its amazing. Lovely old building, amazing bathroom and a superb (proper European style) continental breakfast, definitely recommended. Not that I have ever seen one (or been to one) but the building had the feeling of a Wild West bordello....  The other thing worth seeing is the Boardwalk, apparenty the same one as sung about by the Drifters in "Under the Boardwalk". Sadly it is now mostly lined by new casinos and shopping malls but there are still one or two old buildings left on it. Including one with an amusement arcade where five bucks was well spent on Guitar Hero - the arcade game - what a genius idea for an arcade game. On the hi-score board for Motorhead by Motorhead in 3rd place and I never even had it on any of the versions I had for the PS2 (not that I am proud of this fact, ahem). 

As far as I can see, AC whole raison d'etre seems to be the inspiration for two pretty good songs and thats it. Happy to have seen it but don't think we will be rushing back.

Lord above us, things ain't been the same since the blues walked into town

I'm wearing out the flooring in a cheap motel

Well not that cheap really.

Oh, its like a film noir. Check into a motel  then go out to a diner and have steak and eggs with a cherry coke (thats coke with cherry syrup not the insipid stuff that you get in a can - and real maraschino cherries floating in it) for dinner. Can you get any more B-movie than that? Hopefully no as I'm hoping that there is no midnight visitation by the cops.